EVEN MORE VERY NORTY ONES FOR PLONKING ON MA NORTY STEP!

Darlings

It has come to ma attenshun dat der are several EXTREMELY NORTY ONES who should be on ma step!  But I must, once again, add @marleyterrier to the step for blowing it up just da other day when he set fire one of dat @Kolo_Martin's farts - boom! and ma knickers were flying over da Pond...!!

Dis is dat @marleyterrier pretending to be a goner so that I would not's thwack thwack thwock him for blowing up ma norty step!  Da noive of it! XXX

First up today is dat @ZackRabbit who, when he runs out of choccy chips, makes his own!!

**remind me not to eat dem choccy chip cookies**!!

And when he is not making choccy chips, spends a lot of time playing with his BIG carrot!

Second on da list today is dat @SydPie who is a very purrty girly BUT

so very, very norty!  She recently went a plonker checking out somefink should ought not to have got her nose stuck in!  Gave her poor Mama a fright!  Dat is ultra norty!!

STOP PRESS! STOP PRESS! NORTY ALERT!

Oh! and it has been brung to ma further attenshun dat Ms Purrty Dawg done a crime

last year!  Da curious incident of da mud-sofa incident last Summer"!  

Dis cute dawgy has some street cred for sure! XXX

Third up is @MarshallSheldon cos he leads me into norty ways early in da morning!

Fourth on today's list is @Teaganthedog who boings all over da place, hides under tables, bites frew her lead and causes mayhem in da local public house!

And last, but not least, is ma furrend @Flicka47 who has been very, very norty recerntly! *wink wink**

and is ma partner-in-crime.  We have both signed the pledge on fudge for life!!

Watch dis space.......

Loves you all,

Jazzy XXXXXX

YET MORE OF DA NORTIES ONES ON DA NORTY STEP!!

Darling Partners-in-Crime

Check des norty, norty, norty ones out:

@Snoopydogdog - one VERY norty little boy!!!

@georgetheduck who is sooooo norty he has made me see double!!

And @sanjeethecat who has been stuffed in da bin by @georgetheduck after

@georgetheduck stuffed Sanjee der in da first place!

Finally (phew! I fawt I wuz norty!) check out dis website

for very norty sparkly fings to buy:

Help Feed the Duck! George's Typist: http://bit.ly/TypistCJ

**STOP PRESS** - VERY NORTY ALERT

I haz had to add dat Trea to ma VERY Norty Step for crimes againt ME!!

No sooner hadz she gotted home, den she was squirting stuff in ma

wittle pinky ears!!  All cos I shooked ma head and Mama shouted

"I fink she got cooties in her ears"!!  Da noive!!

**Mama should be added too**

Dis is Mama!  She norty too cos she letted dat

Trea do squirties in ma wittle ears!!

**I fang Mama tomorrow**

Self-confessed "norty alrightey" @BorisKitty deserves

a place here alrightey!! XXXX

Lubs you all,

Happy #TootThursday

Jazzy XXXXXX

BY PERSONAL REQUEST: ANOTHER ONE ON DA NORTY STEP!

Darlings

Ma Norty Step is proving so popular that, by personal request, the partner-in-crime listed below is being added to dat list:

Ain't dat just a picture of goodnessnessness?!

Yup!  Your furrend and mine @CokieTheCat!

And @HankTheDoggy is being added just because I can!!

Happy 10th Birfday, Hanky! XXXX

If you would like to be added, please send me a photo of yourself to jazzydacat@ymail.com!

And just added @Nippers_Duckie for being cheeky boy!!!

And @Kittehboi for a reason yet to be found!

OMC! Another norty boy @maridodacat!!

And another very norty girl in da making @Zandria_0

Happy ToonaToosday!

Jazzy XXXX

Some more anipals to add to da NORTY STEP.....

Darlings

Three  more very, very norty anipals have comed to ma attenshun - namely:

@DolliTheCat who is working on being a norty girl under ma guidance, of course!

@Kolo_Martin who is a football hooligan but tells me he is very good boy! No way!!

He is as norty as da rest of us!!

@Dogstoyevsky "Lexie" who is another partner in crime and paw-in-biskwits

wiv dat @marleyterrier mentioned in ma earlier dispatch!

And not forgetting Mr Goody Four Paws himself

@Ryker_Tyker da Tonkinese who is scarded of a girl cat! XXX

And dis is @BlindMaximus -  a prime suspect for nortyness.  @iCocotheChi and I lub him lots and has plans for him!!!

Cover your your eyes, children, is is da Saucy Minx known as

@JinJinDoggy - phwoa!!!

And her even minxier sisfur @PixelDoggy.  OMC!  I can hardly look!!

WATCH DIS SPACE BECAUSE MORE NAMES WILL BE ADDED!!!

Loves ya!

Jazzy XXXXX

Some of ma bestest furrends - the nortiest ones - probably!!

Darlings

I just hadz to put a pichur of ma darling @SidTheCatahoula (Siddy) on ma bloggy cos he is just such a sweet and loving boy.  He loves playing wiv his balls (no! not dem sort - norty! norty!), especially da Globe Ball on a rope which I sented him for Thanksgiving!  Siddy always make me feel glad to be alive!!  His Mum, Lisa and Dad, Matt are pretty cool too!!

Dis morning he punced on his Mum at 6am!!  She tooked him for a walk, brunged him back to bed and he still punced three more times!  He has all da makings on an Honorary PuddyTat!

Dis is Siddy wiv da Christmouse card wot I sented him!

You can see how overwhelmed wiv delight he is!!

Da next mate is da very, very norty @marleyterrier who spends half his life doing dastardly fings to me such as sneaking into ma bed in da middle of da night and biting ma bum!

Do not be fooled by dis pichur or Marley looking "out to lunch"!!

He is a scheming rascal and dats why I luvs him!!

And here is ma sweet furrend @Petiethecat who is not really on ma norty list, but it so cute and kind and just have to include him cos I love him lots too!

Dis is Petie looking very regal indeedy!!

Next one in da frame is da ever so, ever so norty @GingerMiluk who has an opinion on everything and is not afraid to share it!!

Ginger looks very cute here but you can see da scheming look in his eyes!!

And, finally, dis is da nortiest little girl of all!1  Can you guess who dis is?!!

Yup! Yours truly - ME - caught in da act of being where I shouldn't be!!

And now it's time to meet da new kids on da block - @PepiSmartDog's puddytats:

Dis is Apple - a Russian Blue - who finks he is so macho....but is no match for his

two scheming Meezer Sisfurs!!

Sweet and gentle Tarni pretending to be good!!

Tahni "butter wouldn't melt"!!

And Suki, the skinniest meezer in da world with a voice like a fog horn!!

So der you have it!  I will gradually add more furrends as time goes by!!

Have fun!

Love and kisses and wussez,

Jazzy XXXXX

WANTED!! ME IZ DA PRINCESS ROUND HERE!!

Dear Anipals

Have you seed dis scrawny fing? Well, @iCocotheChi seems to fink dat me is a dungeon-dweller, a pooper-scooper, a loo brush of no importance and finks da she iz da PRINCESS!! I coulds not stop larfing!!!  Me so voluptuous and booful beside dat skanky butted rat-tail D.O.G.!!

If you see her, please let me know so dat I can *thwack* her for all her naughty ways!!!

COCO THE PRETENDER!!

Achully, she is great fun and well worth a follow on da Twitter!!

KATS ROOL DA HOME, DA EARTH, DA UNIVERSE, DA EVERYFING!!

More dispatches laters!

Kissez and hugs,

PRINCESS Jazzy XXXXXXX

My Forever Furrends!

Dis is ma Special Furrend PepiSmartDog


Hi Furrends

Da piccy above is of me wearing da pawsome Elf Hat wot ma furrend @BorisKitty sented me for Christmas! I fawt it was rather winsome and girl-about-town to wear it with da pom pom over eye and not, as Trea suggested, skew-whiff cos I had hadz one Niptini too many! (Dat girl needs corrective training!).

It has been a while since I hadz a chance to update ma Bloggy cos Trea was so busy at work (yawn!) and Mummy cannot yet do ma Bloggy stuff! But, I haz been finking of you all!!

Christmouse was a bit quiet cos Mummy had da Piggy Floo following by poonewmonia and Trea and me looked after her! Pepi had a nurse's uniform which he let me borrow!!

We made so may furrends on Twitter dis year and had a lovely time sending and receiving Christmouse cards and pressies. I have a box full of toys, each of them special forever toys from my forever friends. I just wish we could all meet and have a fun time all playing together!! Your gifts are lovely, but your love and friendship are even better because those "gifts" are with me wherever I am!

Some my furrends got sick during da year and made a good recovery, but some of dem were so sick dems went Over The Rainbow Bridge. October/November was a sad time for all of us. Ma furrend Pepi went OTRB in September but has been brilliant at welcoming da new arrivals and making dem feel at home. Although for some of you this may seem silly, for many of the Mums & Dads of these anipals it was a source of great comfort so I got really sad when one or two anipals made fun of Rainbow Bridge. Der are some people out there who "owe their lives/sanity" to their beloved anipals for always being there for them through the good times and the bad. Anipals are not judgmental are do not judge humans by their wealth or possessions! All we anipals need is love, some kind words, some fud and somewhere warm to sleep. We love our humans no matter wot and no one has da right to sneer at dat! So der!!

Der are so many of you I would like to thank for being ma furrend but I cannot name you all! However, @PepiSmartDog, SidTheCataoula @PetieTheCat @Yoda_the_dog @Caesar_OSkeezix @Pandafur @GeorgeTheDuck @CokieTheCat @BlimdMaximus @Chattemuse @Emmythecat @LadyBonessa @MattieDog @TeaganTheDog @Fordy57 @PollyPuss11 @Dogstoyevky @kritterkondo @bdgrlaw @grrlysquirrel @snoopydogdog @Marleyterrier @MizzBassie @JavaTheCat @OatieDog @PiddleandPurr @MedusaJ @Smokey8 @Sadlovelyheart @tweetpie54 @no_crybaby_doGs @ZackRabbit @GOLDANNE @BabyPatches @Boomiethecat @BorisKitty @henryandfriends @GinerMiluk @JinJinDoggy @PixelDoggy @zaziart @kittehboi @Pickle55 @RosieandCheeto @MaggieTKat @BuzzLucas @vorvolaka @5_cats_4_dogs @CleopatraSaash @flatcatlady @danapixie @ForeverGinger @PuzTheCat @RudyKCat @frugaldougal @Gabby_da_tabby @HankTheDoggy @brutusthedane @hanseebundee @hollieferguson @iCocoChi @jedbramwell @Kolo_Martin @Ladycat3 @mariodacat @laineyspawtique @LadyCruella @lexingtonthepup @LittleDunkin @LouPeb @MadLabM @mam1cutie @Manxington @MarblecakeJemna @marshallsheldon @mumsmarmie @Rumblepurr @pntbtrkisses @Poppy_Dog @purplebear @sydpie @tigrisparva @trailerparkdogs @understandblue @zandria - are just a few who have made me laugh and cry over the last year!

Please forgive me any omissions that I have made! XXXX

May 2010 bring about an end to suffering and pain to all anipals, especially our brave Little Brown Dog of Knoxville, Tennessee, and anipals like her who have suffered so much pain and cruelty at the hands of humans.

May 2010 bring World Peace and an end to famine and war....and lots of nommy noms for us all!

My love always,

Jazzy XXXXXX

PS: Please forgive any typos! XXXX

Heartfelt Tribute to ma best furrend, Pepi Smart Dog: 1991 - 2009

One of da first furrends I made on Twitter was @PepiSmartDog. He was an older dog - 12 years young - who was adopted by former Olympic Level Equestrian (Dressage) Michele Brown. Michele chose Pepi because of his eyes. When she first met him he was in a shelter pen with five bouncy and more handsome puppies. He knew the odds were against him and shuffled away in sadness with his head hung low when he thought that Michele also did not want him. However, the following day Michele picked him up from the shelter and the rest is history.

Pepi very soon became a celebrity in his own right in his native Queensland, championing the campaign to "educate" people in the delights of taking on an older pet. Whatever Michele did for him, Pepi repayed her one-thousandfold. They were a team and Pepi became famous for his slick mode of transport - an Aston Martin/Ferrari disguised as a Pram!!

Over the months I knew Pepi we became very close and I valued his insight and take on life generally. Pepi was a great mediator who poured oil on troubled water when us anipals got out of line or got up one another's noses! We could also tease one another without causing any offence or upset; we had the same outlook on life and sense of humour. Trea, mai human sisfur, also became great friends with Michele, his Mum! I always imagined that Pepi would be around forever and ever.

Two weeks ago mai world was turned upside down when, following dental surgery and an anaesthetic, we found out that damage had been done to Pepi's kidneys. Over the days it became apparent that Pepi was very sick and was rushed into ICU. Even then Pepi rallied, we all help our breath and felt that he would come back fighting. He did just that, but only to suffer a relapse. The Twitter anipal community all came together and held a #pawcircle for his return to health and, for a while, our prayers were answered.

Last Sunday, 13 September 2009, Pepi was well enough to attend an animal charity bash in his honour! He had a ball as loved all the adulation heaped upon him. He returned to the Hospital later that day having had so much fun with his Mum. On Monday and Tuesday we got some good news that, blood tests permitting, Pepi would be allowed home on Wednesday, 16th. Trea had a e.mail from Michele who was so, so excited at getting him home again!

Can you imagine the shock that we got when we read our Tweets from Michele telling us that our beloved PepiSmartDog had died, having suffered a massive heart attack, after having been home only five minutes? Mum, Trea and I were absolutely numb with disbelief. This is why it has taken me two days to be able to write this tribute to Pepi - da bestest furrend an anipal could have.

One the day before he died, he showed us all just how spunky a dog he was by FANGING DA VET NURSE!! I think all da anipals were crying wiv tears of laughter at dat stunt!! [15 September will now be offishully designated "FANG DA VET DAY" or #arsefest for short!]

One hearing dat Pepi had crossed over da Rainbow Bridge, da Twitter Anipal community once again all came together and we all grieved as one at our loss. Yesterday, 17 September, was one of the quietest days I have ever known on Twitter. Only one anipal was in our thoughts, PepiSmartDog!

Pepi lived brave and died brave. He will be forever in our hearts - one of a kind that we were all fortunate to know. He has not left us but merely crossed over The Rainbow Bridge where he can watch over us for all Eternity.

WE LOVE YOU, PEPISMARTDOG!! LONG LIVE KING PEPI!!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Remembering also @PuzTheCat who crossed over da Rainbow Bridge on 21 August 2009 after a short battle with mouth cancer. Puz was another great furrend who always responded to Tweets, especially when I sent him some freshly churned Joisy Cweem!! A few days before he went over da Bridge, we shared a romantic meal of meatballs and spaghetti together recreating dat wonderful scene in "Lady and The Tramp"! Our noseys touched when we eateds a string of spaghetti and met in da middle! Puz greeted Pepi at da Rainbow Bridge with a feast (even if wuz yukky tofu!!) fit for a King!!

At dis point I should give some "mention in dispatches" to @PuzTheCat's bruv @TonyTheSiamese who so memorably (& delightfully) kept us all entertained by flogging Puz's dish on e.bay!!! Tony, as it happened, has turned out to be a velly, velly, loving boy who shares ma love of plawns and is well worth a follow!!

Mai thoughts are wiv all anipals who haz crossed da Rainbow Bridge recently.

Thank you for reading dis. And a big thank you to all you all for being such fun and loyal furrends!

Love and kisses,

Jazzy XXXXXX

18 September 2009

Hello to new furrends and Farewell to loved ones!

This is just a quickie to say that I will start up-dating my Bloggy on a more regular basis but life in London as one of the A List Celebs takes up much of my time!!!

I had some fun early in da month with @BorisKitty's Contesty for GOTCHA DAY! I wuz doing quite well until da phantom clickers got to work....!!!! I didn'ts win nuffink but da taking part was such fun and I wet maself larfing @Shawneeshep's pictorial contribution!!!!

On 21 August all ma furrends and mes wuz very, very sad cos our lovely Apricot Tabby cat, @Puzthecat, went on his final journey over da Raibow Bridge! @PepiSmartDog put on a wonderful #Hamfest in Puz's honour a few weeks before when we hadz da dreadful news dat Puz had an aggressive cancer of da mouth! He wuz such a brave boy and we gave him a great send off. He is very happy now and a new bright star haz appeared in da night sky #PUZSTAR on which we can all make wishes. He haz caught up with @ChatteMuse who is showing him da ropes! Puz's bruv @TonyTheSiamese caused a bit of a stir having ventured into da world of entrepreneurs (Dragon's Den) by flogging Puz's fings on e.bay!! He wuz "velly, velly sworry" and is set to become another much loved member of da anipal Twitter community!!

Another one of our anipal furrends @Alantheferret suddenly dropped off da radar in early August and his Twitter account disappeared so we can only assume his is missing in action. Wherever you are hidings Alan, just remember dat we all luvs and misses you lots! If anyone knows his whereabouts, please let us know.

**UPDATE: I haz found dat naughty @Alantheferret hidings on Twitter Critters!!! Here he is alive and well: http://bit.ly/MoeN6**

It was Mum's birfday on 28 August but as it was too windy she and Trea went to Kenwood House in Hampstead, London yesterday for a spiffing nosh!! I, of course, wuz left behind but dey dids buy me a new baby! His name is Mr Hiss and he is a lilac and pinky floofy, 4 foot long snakie! He rattles too! Awesome pawesome or wot?!!

Da birfday celebrations for Mum also coincided wiv da Woodstock #pawpawty which @Javathecat, @MizzBassie, @PepiSmartDog and others helped to arrange. Dey are such wunnerful anipals who are always finking of others!

@PepiSmartDog became even more famous getting himself in print again and being shaved by his Mummy for a photoshoot! Later in a month, Pepi became slightly more girly by hazinf his toofies cleaned by da V.E.T. and hazing a hissy fit da following day but not allowing his Mummy to clean his toofies with BEEF (yukky!!) flavoured toofpaste! I shall not go into da details of wot happened next but, suffice to say, it wuz not one of Mum Michele's best ideas of Pepi's finest hours..but his street cred went up!!

I haz made even more fab furrends dis month and you all know who you iz! @Cokiethecat and mes iz still "an item" along with @PepiSmartDog @Rumblepurr @Dunkin_the_cat @dobie_evgeni @yellowdogsandy @SidTheCatahoula @VladimirCat and ma latest toyboys @Tuckerdart @Fordy57 @wallasEKatt and all ma ovver boys!! And some of ma other girlies @Emmythecat @Jasmine_woo_woo @mumsmarmie1 @PollyPuss11 @bdgrlaw @salpickering @kritterkondo...!!!

And den I went and forgotted to mention day #pawpawty organiser extraordinaire @frugaldougal! Many apols for dis oversight! Big wuzzes!

**STOP PRESS** BIG PRAYERS AND LOVE FOR @JimniKricket's SISFUR, KRICKET, WHO HAS JUST COME OUT OR SURGERY TO HELP HER WALK AGAIN**

Finally, wishing lots of luck and safe journey to

@5_cats_4_dogs

who are embarking on a new adventure this coming Tuesday when des moves from Dubai to SoCal. We iz all longing to hear wot life will be like for dem in da US of A!

Until very soon, big loves and kisses to ALL my loyal and loving furrends.

Kisses and hugs,

Jazzy XXXXX

Daisy Boo Duckie, iPhone and Ms Sneaky Peaky!

Daisy Boo duckie safely arrived via the letterbox at 08.55 on Saturday morning. She was quite quiet immediately after her birth but then started to drive me quackers with her demands for food! She is a very greedy ickle baby! By Sunday I had managed to wean her onto my kibbles and one of those keeps her happy for hours! I luvs kissing, cuddling and bitings her so that she is all wet and sticky!! She also likes Ratty, my Plague Ratsie, and dey plays together and Daisy now smells nice and pooey - just da way I likes my babies!!

Trea has taken a couple of vids of me and Daisy Boo wiv her new iPhone! Mummy and I sometimes fink she luvs da iPhone and iMac betterer than us! She is always stucked on it! Mummy says it is very "aunty soshull" but I dids not knowed we hads an Aunty called Soshull?!! I fink da Trea spends so much time on da 'puter cos she is "Johnny no mates"!! I just hopes dat she does not read dis! I am still trying to sell her on e.Bay and Amazon wivout much success!!

I tried to gets under da carpet in da sitting room last night until somefink called "slipper" biteds my bum! I had to sit in a bath of water for ages before it cooled - my bum, not da water by da way! So, todays I am planning on scaling da North Face of da sofa once I know dat Mummy is busy in da kitchen! Miss Sneaky Peaky is at work but I fink she might have set up a web cam - she shud be reported to da orforities for dat!!

I hads better go and look good for a while before my assault on da sofa begins in ernest.....or shuds dat be earnest?! Dids you hear da joke about da two maggots making love in dead ernest?! LMAO!!

Love you all lots and lots,

Jazzy XXXXXXX

Bluebottle was murdered, not eated!

On further investigation I found out dat Mum has not eated my bluebottle but she had doned for him wiv some spray which made him go stiff and turn up his toes! I founded him yesterday and made Mummy feel bad about what she had doned! She grovelled suitably (until next time!) and we gave bluebottle a proper send off! Mummy was clearly upsetted as she had a grimace on her face and muttered "it's disgusting" as she put bluebottle in his last resting place! To placate, me she opened a jar of Shittums (or is is Shiphams?) crab pate and let me eated it from her finger! I felt much betterer!

Trea ordered me a new Duckie which is winging is way across the Atlantic right now! So I will have Ratsies and Duckie to park under the furniture out of paw reach! Dat means that Trea will have to get dem out and, even betterer, I gets to bite her bum in da process!! Hi Paws!!!

Trea is at work today which means I can prowl around the house wivout being constantly spied on! She is always making me jump! I sometime let my stinky gland go on her to make my point!!

Well, Mummy Darling needs me so I had better go and tuck up on her laps!

LOL XXXX

Poops, I-Tal-Leon fud, Sneaky Peaky Vampires and Fings!

Well, I has been very busy wiv all sorts of fings including my blogspot which I think is really cool! I had a great big stinky poopy-plops at 12.40am today which did not best please Mummy and Trea! They were clearly not impressed with my "Farmyard Smells" impression!! It was all cos I had eated some strawberries last evening which I dids not liked at all and spitted dem out over da carpet, BUT they clearly gived me a grumbly-tumbly which gived me winds! Parp! Parp!!

My lovely friends TheBarmyArmy also pooped in der backyard yesterday cos der Mum and Dad gave dem I-Tal-Leon fud which I fink deys had got on da cheap! **Nosetap**!! I has nuffink against foreign fud as long as it comes from yet INGERLAND!!! Mum and Trea love I-Tal-Leon fud but der is no way I iz gonna eat a plates of wurms wiv 'matoes and garlic on tops!! (Trea poops alot too!! Has radioactive bowels, Mummy says!)

Of course, my grumbly-tumbly could be as a result of Trea trying to do for me! She so jellus of my beauty!! I has seed her wiv da bunches of Deadly Nighstshade!! I wud put it in her tea but she is a Vampire! If she biteds me I would get to da Vet pronto and gets myself checked out! Bites are not gud...especially from vamps like Trea. She uses electric toofbrush cos her fangs gets so doity!! She ain't da full pound (or Dollar if you is reading this in da States!) - one fang short of a vampire if you ask me!!

Oh! and one of our neighbours wants to snuff my grey squirrels cos dey got in her loft! She not nice laydee! My squirrels has got to live somewhere.... as long as it is not my loft cos they very noisy at night!!! I has bats too - dey do squeaks and poo up der noses!!! I likes bats!!

Well, I has better go cos I feel a sneaky peaky moment coming on! I needs to see whats da neighbours iz up to!!! Mummy says I iz a curtain twitcher!! Mummy loves me!!!

LOL Jazzy XXXXX