Poops, I-Tal-Leon fud, Sneaky Peaky Vampires and Fings!

Well, I has been very busy wiv all sorts of fings including my blogspot which I think is really cool! I had a great big stinky poopy-plops at 12.40am today which did not best please Mummy and Trea! They were clearly not impressed with my "Farmyard Smells" impression!! It was all cos I had eated some strawberries last evening which I dids not liked at all and spitted dem out over da carpet, BUT they clearly gived me a grumbly-tumbly which gived me winds! Parp! Parp!!

My lovely friends TheBarmyArmy also pooped in der backyard yesterday cos der Mum and Dad gave dem I-Tal-Leon fud which I fink deys had got on da cheap! **Nosetap**!! I has nuffink against foreign fud as long as it comes from yet INGERLAND!!! Mum and Trea love I-Tal-Leon fud but der is no way I iz gonna eat a plates of wurms wiv 'matoes and garlic on tops!! (Trea poops alot too!! Has radioactive bowels, Mummy says!)

Of course, my grumbly-tumbly could be as a result of Trea trying to do for me! She so jellus of my beauty!! I has seed her wiv da bunches of Deadly Nighstshade!! I wud put it in her tea but she is a Vampire! If she biteds me I would get to da Vet pronto and gets myself checked out! Bites are not gud...especially from vamps like Trea. She uses electric toofbrush cos her fangs gets so doity!! She ain't da full pound (or Dollar if you is reading this in da States!) - one fang short of a vampire if you ask me!!

Oh! and one of our neighbours wants to snuff my grey squirrels cos dey got in her loft! She not nice laydee! My squirrels has got to live somewhere.... as long as it is not my loft cos they very noisy at night!!! I has bats too - dey do squeaks and poo up der noses!!! I likes bats!!

Well, I has better go cos I feel a sneaky peaky moment coming on! I needs to see whats da neighbours iz up to!!! Mummy says I iz a curtain twitcher!! Mummy loves me!!!

LOL Jazzy XXXXX